


What Is Best Left Unspoken

by impossiblytenaciouswitch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Hand Jobs, In Universe, M/M, Masturbastion, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 17:33:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2741078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossiblytenaciouswitch/pseuds/impossiblytenaciouswitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes intimacy is the only way to make you feel human again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Is Best Left Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> (If you haven't already guessed, I am terrible at coming up with titles! I've wanted to write a fic with Levi for ages, but I find his character difficult to get right, so I hope that he comes across ok!)  
> (I would also like to point out, in this fic Eren is 16, which is the legal age in the UK)

"What do you want kid?"

Levi didn't need to turn around to know that it was Eren stood at the door. Instead he just stared at his cup of dark tea, waiting. Eren hesitantly moved into the room, taking a place at the table. Levi could tell from his face that he wanted to say something, but couldn't. He recognised that underlying look of horror etching itself onto the kid's skin. He knew it all too well, he could feel every scar, every fresh wound, moulded into his own face. Years of loosing friends and family were permanently marked onto his skin, and the loss of his own team was still fresh and raw. 

Eren opened and closed his mouth a few times, but still he said nothing. 

"Well? Spit it out kid, you look like you need to take a shit but can't."

He looked up at Levi, light eyes briefly locking with dark, before looking down at the worn table. In reality Levi didn't need to hear it. He knew already what was going on behind those light eyes. He knew because he too saw the blood, he heard the screams. When he looked into Eren's eyes it was like looking into a mirror. The sight of her head, twisted, eyes wide and blank. The hopelessness. The despair. 

Still the kid said nothing. 

With a sigh, Levi took a sip from his tea.

"I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that it will never get easier, no matter who you lose, or how many."

Eren shook his head, absentmindedly picking at the rough wood of the table.

"I just..."

He met his eyes again, this time not moving away. Looking at Eren was like reading a book, every thought, every emotion written painfully in his face, in his eyes. Levi had been like that once, and he wondered how long it would take Eren to make a mask like his, how many losses would he have to endure, before he needed that mask to keep him bound together too. 

Right now he looked numb and alone. Like he didn't quite understand, like he needed the reassurance that this was all just a horrible dream. Levi knew. He had been there. He was still there. He could understand as well as the next soldier. He also understood what Eren needed. 

Love, happiness, these things were impossible for soldiers like them. Not in this shitty world, where you could end up as titan fodder at any breathing moment. There was no room; the trauma, the loss, the pain made sure of that. There was nothing that could conquer them, not with all that they had been through, not with all that they will happen.   
Placing his cup back onto its saucer, Levi stood and made his way over to where Eren sat. Some things you just couldn't put into words. Some needs could not be specifically defined. 

Leaning down, he kissed him unceremoniously. Eren did not pull away, or act disgusted or confused. He needed that intimacy, to feel human again, just like Levi did. Reciprocating, he shifted the angle of his head so that the kiss could go deeper. Right now all that either could focus on was the physicality of it all. When your emotions were overpowered, had gone numb, sometimes all you could focus on was physical feeling. 

Eren kissed back desperately, hands reaching up to grasp Levi's shirt and hold onto it like his life depended on it. Levi's hand was balled in his hair, pulling it almost too tight. His other hand formed into a claw shape, digging into the back of his long, slender neck. He heard Eren gasp slightly at the pain, but he didn't pull away.   
The sound of their mouths kissing wetly, and the odd breathless moan, were the only sounds that broke the silence of the long, bleak night.

Levi pulled away and looked down at the boy. Eren looked back at him, a mix of begging and hunger swirling in his eyes. 

"Stand up, undo your trousers."

Eren did as he was told. Before he could do anything else, Levi stepped closer, pulling the trousers and underpants down, revealing Eren's penis already showing the first signs of arousal. Looking up into his eyes, Levi reached forwards and gripped his penis roughly, moving his hand up and down, savouring the way Eren's mouth and eyes widened as his arousal rose. He could feel his own arousal pressing against his trousers.

Eren noticed, and fumbling with his fingers, undid the older man's trousers, pulling them down as Levi had done. Leaning his head forward to lock their lips once more, he took Levi's erection in his hand, matching the speed and movement. 

Soon, their kissing became more difficult as their breathing deepened, chests rising and falling as their hands worked. Levi reached up with his spare hand and gripped the back of Eren's neck, pushing him back slightly so that he was leaning against the table. Eren's free hand gripped the edge, knuckles white, as they brought each other close to orgasm.   
A moan caught at the back of Eren's throat as he came, spilling over Levi's hand. Seeing him come pushed the older man to his release, and he fell against Eren's chest, breathing deeply. They stood there for a long moment, until Levi, having regained his composure, removed himself from Eren's warm chest.

Doing his trousers up again and wiping his hand, he looked at the mess they had made.

"Clean this up." 

Still slightly breathless, Eren nodded. Levi turned to leave.

"Oh, and Jaeger..."

Eren interrupted him before he could continue.

"I won't mention it to anyone. This never happened."

Levi nodded, and left, shutting the door behind him. The whole moment had gone by so quickly, and so unceremoniously, he could almost have imagine it. Eren was many things, but he could be trusted to let this moment be. Sure enough, the next morning, it was like nothing had happened; the only give-away being the slight reddening of Eren's ears when he came down for breakfast.


End file.
